I Feel Old for the First Time

age is only a number if your mind agrees…

I seem to be having senior moments lately. The reference is in no way an insult toward those who are in the age bracket of 64 and up. I’m only saying that I am experiencing mental fatigue coupled with body aches, loss of focus, and the inability to remember things. I looked up some of the causes for the term “brain fog,” and know I am dealing with at least three of the symptoms I’ve seen listed.

My pride is taking a beating because I seem to be failing in areas I always felt I was pretty steady. What I realize more than anything is that taking care of my self requires a total body, mind, and soul approach. One area cannot be left unattended without it affecting the other areas. In a nutshell, I feel old and tired; yet, I felt the total opposite coming into 2020.

I won’t blame Covid-19 or stay home orders. Solitary confinement is right up my alley. No, what I failed to do was put alternates in place to meet my basic hierarchy of needs. The need for wide-open freedom wasn’t available to me, yet, it’s a necessity for my mental stability. It’s getting out into the open, letting the wind blow through my hair while zooming down the highway going no place in particular. Or, deciding at the last minute to drop into a movie theater to catch a movie and enjoy a tub of theater buttered popcorn with jalapenos.

I took walks around my neighborhood a few times. I live in a friendly area where people wave at you as they drive by. That happens to be one of the things I love about my neighborhood. Unfortunately, with bad knees, the wrong kind of walking shoes, and heat, walking wasn’t as inviting as it could have been.

I would have loved to write more, but I draw inspiration from a combination of things I see, hear, and experience. Although I must confess, I have written several melancholy-themed short song lyrics based on beats listened to on the Voisey app. I’ve sung so many that my son says I’m addicted and need to shut it down. He cracks me up!

My whole point is we are a trinity in the same way God is (Father, Son, Holy Spirit). We have to nourish, hydrate, and exercise our body, mind, and soul, as well as detox the toxic stuff (people, things, habits) we have taken on. Toxins cause damage to the body and negatively impacts our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. And who in their right mind doesn’t want to be the best they can be?

In essence, I’m aging, but I want to do so in a much better state than I am at the moment. I want to stay young at heart, young in mind, and as youthful in the body as possible. It requires some adjustments and fine-tuning, but anything is possible when you set our mind to do it. And as an aged woman, there are things I’m supposed to teach that can’t be taught in word alone but must be demonstrated. So, I’ve got work to do to stave off this feeling of aging I feel taking place in my body, mind, and soul!

Titus 2:3-5 (KJV)

3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.