CIRCUMSPECTLY, adverb  Cautiously; with watchfulness every way; with attention to guard against surprise or danger.  [Webster’s Dictionary 1828]

Ephesians 5:15-16 (KJV)

¹⁵ See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, ¹⁶ Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

I turned 55 years old last month.  My body is changing.  This vessel feels the effects of 18 years of improper maintenance.  Immediate changes are necessary because I want quality of life more than I want quantity.  Watching tears form in my 98-year old grandmother’s eyes as she painfully walks short distances is an additional douse of sobriety following on the heels of recently starting high blood pressure meds.

In a recent class the question was “Are You Prepared?”  Spiritually, I feel better equipped than ever before although not quite the seasoned vet.  My past is a checkered history of spiritual and emotional highs and lows; of extremely stupid decisions; of daring and foolish risks, with some truly good insights and choices thrown into the heap. I’ve had moments of spiritual deafness and blindness, and times of spiritual lightbulbs bursting with insight and wisdom.

I don’t know who penned the saying, “once a man; twice a child,” but I feel like a child some days.  I randomly cry…tears come out of nowhere, and I don’t always know the cause.  While the tears are bewildering, I find them refreshing and humbling at the same time.  I also find myself praying more frequently for situations, family, friends and total strangers.  I haven’t figured out all that God will do in my life, but I’m hoping not to miss out on much.

I am acutely aware that time has caught up to me.  Less time for wistful dreaming of things to be; it’s midnight and I must adapt to this season of life.  Retirement is no longer a distant thought but a looming fact.  Retirement benefits; debt-to-income ratios; health insurance; housing; necessities and expenditures have all moved to the forefront of noteworthy consideration.

I am ever changing and I like the me that has been emerging.  In my youth, I feared being alone whereas over the years I’ve learned to take pleasure in my solitude.  Peace is a steady friend and I like living a drama free life.  Plus, I make a really great date…lol…but more importantly, being a solo doesn’t equate to being incomplete!

Circumspectly, what’s needed most at this time is a plan for a future that sustains me in my latter senior years.  My children are already practicing being overseers so I’d like to ward off that part of my future as long as possible, physically and financially, especially since they are showing signs of enjoying “protecting me” by attempting to put limits in place.  And truthfully, I don’t want to give up my freedom nor intrude on their lives no sooner than I may have to.

Aging is a no-brainer each day God opens my eyes.  And late is better than never in preparing circumspectly for the surprises that life may throw my way!

Copyright © Wanda Murry, October 12, 2017