Tag: trusting the process

Fighting the Winning Battle

the battle is real, but so is victory

Ms. Wanda4 Comments

Going into the Army after graduating from Wyandotte High School (KCK) was one of the best decisions in my life. Much of what I learned was not only applicable to military standards but living in general. The physical training not only strengthened the body but taught endurance. The weapons training focused on setting your sight on a target and aiming with precision to hit your mark. The buddy system trained me to work with a partner to cover each other.

But the training that sticks most with me today is observing and identifying an enemy. Learning this skill has saved my life many times. It’s kept me from being pulled into the rabbit hole of depression. It has taught me not to put all of my trust in people; to, in fact, only share portions of the inner me until a person proves themselves to be trustworthy of the depths of me.

Even more so, it has equipped me to stay alert to the wiles of the devil. To recognize subtle signs of potential traps that he is setting up for me. It is one of the reasons I stopped watching television (news, programs, etc.). For a person like me, keeping my inner man free of bleak or wicked images and ideas helps me avoid being overwhelmed with sorrows. It reminds me that life is a journey, and to practice the following daily:

Never underestimate the schemes of your enemy nor be emotionally hijacked into forgetting the power of the Savior.

Wanda J. Murry

I wrote the below poem in my 30s when it finally dawned on me that I didn’t have to fight my battles alone. I had to train my mind to function from a place of victory instead of defeat, and you can trains yours too.

I hope you enjoy the poem!

I had to stop lying to me

Because it affected what my eyes see

It hindered my forward progress

Keeping me bound in mental regress

All the pain, the fear and doubt stayed

My maturity level was being delayed

And, the hope and love that had started

Was constantly being pushed and retarded

Burdens were adding unnecessary weight

To an already unsteady and unhealthy gait

The mind was in continual commotion

Soiling that part cleaned in daily devotion

God’s Spirit has been a part of my life

Since I married Christ and became his wife

Yet, my old lovers kept pulling me back

Forever pouncing with the newest attack

I grew tired and weary from being battled

At times succumbing, my faith being rattled

Yet, I hate losing the war that’s already won

When at my disposal is the power of the Son

So like a good soldier, I make my retreat to regroup

I check my armor, seal the cracks, and mentally recoup

Then I get up again, and go forth in God’s Spirit to slay

The enemy and his helpers who work to hinder and delay

I will recapture the things which were mine to keep

I will lay claim to victory, again awakened from my sleep

I will reclaim the reward and treasure of the Spirit’s gift

I will cause the balance of the power within to shift

When God gave Christ, His only begotten Son

The spiritual war that rages, is already being won

So fearlessly I raise my sword, the Word from above

And, I go on fighting, empowered by God’s love

I Feel Old for the First Time

age is only a number if your mind agrees…

Ms. Wanda11 Comments

I seem to be having senior moments lately. The reference is in no way an insult toward those who are in the age bracket of 64 and up. I’m only saying that I am experiencing mental fatigue coupled with body aches, loss of focus, and the inability to remember things. I looked up some of the causes for the term “brain fog,” and know I am dealing with at least three of the symptoms I’ve seen listed.

My pride is taking a beating because I seem to be failing in areas I always felt I was pretty steady. What I realize more than anything is that taking care of my self requires a total body, mind, and soul approach. One area cannot be left unattended without it affecting the other areas. In a nutshell, I feel old and tired; yet, I felt the total opposite coming into 2020.

I won’t blame Covid-19 or stay home orders. Solitary confinement is right up my alley. No, what I failed to do was put alternates in place to meet my basic hierarchy of needs. The need for wide-open freedom wasn’t available to me, yet, it’s a necessity for my mental stability. It’s getting out into the open, letting the wind blow through my hair while zooming down the highway going no place in particular. Or, deciding at the last minute to drop into a movie theater to catch a movie and enjoy a tub of theater buttered popcorn with jalapenos.

I took walks around my neighborhood a few times. I live in a friendly area where people wave at you as they drive by. That happens to be one of the things I love about my neighborhood. Unfortunately, with bad knees, the wrong kind of walking shoes, and heat, walking wasn’t as inviting as it could have been.

I would have loved to write more, but I draw inspiration from a combination of things I see, hear, and experience. Although I must confess, I have written several melancholy-themed short song lyrics based on beats listened to on the Voisey app. I’ve sung so many that my son says I’m addicted and need to shut it down. He cracks me up!

My whole point is we are a trinity in the same way God is (Father, Son, Holy Spirit). We have to nourish, hydrate, and exercise our body, mind, and soul, as well as detox the toxic stuff (people, things, habits) we have taken on. Toxins cause damage to the body and negatively impacts our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. And who in their right mind doesn’t want to be the best they can be?

In essence, I’m aging, but I want to do so in a much better state than I am at the moment. I want to stay young at heart, young in mind, and as youthful in the body as possible. It requires some adjustments and fine-tuning, but anything is possible when you set our mind to do it. And as an aged woman, there are things I’m supposed to teach that can’t be taught in word alone but must be demonstrated. So, I’ve got work to do to stave off this feeling of aging I feel taking place in my body, mind, and soul!

Titus 2:3-5 (KJV)

3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.