5 thoughts on “In A Relationship With God”

1. My salvation was a process that lasted just under 5 years from the time I first recognized God’s wooing the Summer of 1977 until the culmination sometime in the late Winter in the first quarter of 1982. My family was not one for church membership or attendance. We didn’t go to church even on Christmas or Easter. But as a child my mother taught me to say the “Now I lay me down to sleep…” prayer at bedtime, so beside the general hearing about him in conversation, I knew there was a God. I also know about him from watching on tv the Lutheran Hour’s Davey and Goliath, being intrigued by the woman in the lower corner of the tv who signed during the broadcast from Thomas Road Baptist Church. I am sure that I heard, but probably did not recognize the message. I had a pretty good upbringing, was taught right from wrong, but not specifically God’s word. So, I grew up thinking I was a good person. As I grew, I was exposed to church goers in school. I considered them goody goody. They would talk of things like living the golden rule, turning the other cheek, or loving their enemies. I even heard then speak of taking the Lord’s name in vain, but not presented with the gospel. I once went to a week long vacation Bible school hosted by Good Samaritan Baptist Church, having been invited by friends and neighbors. I enjoy coloring, listening to the Bible stories which I had not heard before, and making the craft items, but nothing sank into my dry soil of a heart. When I was in high school, I rode the public bus and was exposed to the gospel through Chick tracts that I would find on the benches the back where I sat. I though the cartoons were entertaining, and a bit thought provoking, but I did not understand what it was saying and probably dismissed it because I thought I was good. Afterall, I had not murdered anyone, not shoplifted anything, and only lied to get out of trouble. Later, another kid who lived on my street invited me to a skating party. He was a member of a Baptist church, too. We met at his church and I think while I was there during his piano lesson before leaving for the skating rink, I talked with an adult who ask me to invite Jesus into my heart. Well, I was terrified of having a living man trapped inside my heart, the organ that pumped blood, so that didn’t happen.
   In the Summer of 1977 I had a job that I had started while a sophomore in high school. One day I was on the bus stop on my way to work. I noticed what I considered an elderly woman stopped at the traffic signal. She looked at me and pointed in the direction I was going. I had seen her a few times before and realized she was offering me a ride. I though, sure. If she started something, I was pretty sure I could take her. I got into the car and on the way, she witnessed to me. I did not understand it, but when we got to my job, I exited the car. I am not sure if I ever saw her again. I eventually graduated from high school and went to college in 1979. I met people from many walks of life. I made friends and used to eat in a dormitory dining hall. I generally ate with freshmen and a few others I knew. One day, after a late lab, I arrived after most if not all of the people I generally knew were gone. But one upperclassman, Andrew, who I had met earlier that year was the lone person who looked like me in the hall. I had noticed in previous observation his silent, but genuine and robust praying that he did when he sat down to eat his meals. I sat with him and we talked a little. He tried to present to gospel to me, but I was not hearing it. In fact, I was rude and nasty to him, telling him that “I don’t want to hear that mess.” I think that was the last time I ever talked to him.
   During my sophomore year of college, I ran into someone I had not seen since 4th grade from elementary school. I did not like her because she and two to three other girls used to chase me all the time and hit me. My teacher told me they were just love taps, but I wasn’t hearing that. She gave me an Andre Crouch album (remember those) to listen to. One song I really enjoyed was I’m Looking For You. I still have that album. When I returned home for the Summer, I attended a church with an uncle who is a year older than me. I was interested in going, but could not quite get the antics of the Pentecostal form of worship.
   During Summer break, I organized a bowling league for some of my college mates in a career development organization. One of them was someone I had known since high school. I did not have much to do with her. We went to the same college, but she ran in a different circle than I did and from what I could remember, was kind of cool toward me. Toward the end of the league, about the time for us to return to college, she “casually” asked me how I was going to get back to school. I told her that I had not made plans did not know. She told me that she had recently bought a car and invited me to ride back with her. I accepted and the day for the return arrived. Soon after we started back, Sharon told me that she did not listen to KPRS anymore, but if I wanted to, we could. I told her that I did not mind listening to what she listened to. She said she had gotten saved that Summer and now listened to Christian music. On the drive, we talked about what had happened to her that Summer. She witnessed to me and offered salvation to me. I listened intently to her story, but I was hesitant, and probably did not get what she was saying. That Fall semester during our junior year, I went with her a couple of times to the local church in Rolla she had attended. I even ran into a few of the college staff members who I knew. I finished that semester and went home for Winter break.

   My immediate family consisted of my mother who barely made over a minimum wage and a brother, a senior in high school. I don’t know why, but that Christmas I was anticipating coming home and being showered with Christmas presents. Surely my extended family would celebrate me for being in college. But my mother did not have the financial means to provide me a Walton’s Christmas, let alone a Currier and Ives one. So it was a disappointment, I had fallen victim to the commercial Christmas hype. That was a lonely time of year for me. One night I called what I thought was a friend on the phone and was told he had gone to a party. I thought, “Well, why didn’t he invite me?”
   I continued to experience loneliness after Christmas came and went. One day I called another friend, a fraternity brother, and we made plans to go out on New Year’s Eve. A few days later I visited another uncle of mine at his shoe repair business and told him about my loneliness. In his wisdom, he told me that this was natural, the I was in a bit of a limbo period between childhood and adulthood. I still thought there was something wrong with me, so I went to see a psychologist who encouraged me to initiate a conversation with a total stranger to get me out of my malaise. I decided to try it, so at a food court in the downtown Kansas City City Center Square, I saw a young woman seated alone at a table. I ventured over to her, introduced myself, and talked to her for a while. I was really pleased with myself, but it did not erase the loneliness. I went back home to our apartment on 80th and Troost. When I went inside, I noticed a folded Kansas City Star (or maybe it was The Times), on the coffee table. My eyes somehow focused on a classified ad that read “Lonely, call us”. I hurried to find a phone and dialed the listed number. The gentleman on the other end was pleasant and listened to me. I really cannot remember what I told him, but he told me that “they” had one of their churches not far from me and invited me to meet him there Sunday, which would be New Year’s Day. It turned out that the prayer line was conducted by Calvary Bible College in Belton, Missouri. I agreed and waited for the day. On New Year’s Eve, my fraternity brother and I went to The Fun Factory arcade in Bannister Mall, then a house party. I told him that I could not stay out late because I was “going to church tomorrow”. I made it home early, got up the next morning, and walked the four blocks to the church. I met the gentleman who I had spoken to over the phone. He was not a member of the church, though. I also met wome really friendly people, including someone I knew personally from high school, someone I had seen in junior high school, and someone I had seen in high school. I felt welcomed. I stayed for the service and went home, feeling better about myself. I returned the following week and met a man who was a student at the church affiliated Bible college. He gave me a book, The Liberation of Planet Earth by Hal Lindsay. He encouraged me to read it and the gospel of John from the Bible. I returned to school and eventually opened the books. First I read the gospel of John from a Bible I had gotten from the church. Then, I opened the Hal Lindsay book and read it.
   One day, while I was alone in my room at the frat house and reading the Hal Lindsay book, it seemed like a hundreds of pieces of a puzzle that were floating around in space (not outerspace), all came together to fit into a complete picture, with a nice frame. It all made sense. I understood that no matter how good I thought I was, I still did not and could not measure up to God’s standard of perfection. Jesus, God the Son, who was represented in the Jewish sacrifices, had paid the penalty for my sins. I realized that I needed a Savior, Jesus who had taken away my sin by His dying on that cross and shedding His blood. So, there, in the quietness of my room, with no one else around because I was fortunate to have a room to myself, I confessed with my mouth what now I truly believed in my heart, and received Jesus as Savior. So, my journey that probably started when I was 17 years old as a high school junior ended with me coming to the cross of Calvary when I was a 21 year old college junior.

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2. In reading Wanda and Charles testimony’s. It tells me we have so many things in common. I can relate to both of these as if some of it was me yet in different times and places. I to when growing up I came later than my Sisters & Brother. I had the best childhood for me that anyone could ever have. I always had their attention and they took me everywhere possible that they went. They actually loved me and did so much with me. At times when I was a toddler walking at 6mo. old . My mother told me the kids would play board games and I would want to go and sit right in the middle of them. And my brother said to my mom. Why did you have to go and get her for. I still laugh at that til this day. I was brought up with siblings in the early 50’s. Roller skating rinks, Sock hops and cruise nights, to meeting down on Speaker road for drag nights. Yep just like American Graffiti! Drive in movies with me standing up in the middle of a 58 red and white convertible with my arms stretched out along the back of the seats being right between them. I’m sure they loved me right. I was always in the center of things. Lol So growing up with teenagers I was able to learn life in a fun way. My mom and siblings excepted Christ as their personal Savior as teens when I was just a toddler. I’m sure through the struggles of Dad and Moms relationship and him moving us around like nomads. When ever mom discovered a new girlfriend in his life. My dad would pick us up and move us somewhere else. My siblings never stayed in one school long enough to finish a year out. The sad part is that not one ever graduated bc of it. They all followed suit and quit bc loss of interest. My dad had lots of good ways. Extremely artistically talented gifts. But he was lost and just plain woman crazy. My mom was 16 and dad was 18 when they got married. She had three children by the age of 20.
   My Mom for me was the kind of mom that when I was growing up never spoke negative and never heard her complain. My siblings the same in front of me. I’m sure when they were growing up seen a lot more than I ever heard or experienced. My dad was in and out of our lives. He would be gone a year and come right back in to our lives like nothing had ever happened. We lived that way for 23 yrs. Mom wanted to leave when the kids got for her old enough. But when she decided to go. I came along the ooops I used to call me! He would always have something big for each of us to buy his way back into our lives. Whatever it might have been. A beautiful coat or clothes., a bike etc. It never really went over to big with the two siblings between me and my older sister. My dad had a lot of wonderful ways about him for the most part. But his women issues. But it was all done away from home and he rarely brought the issues home. It definitely was hard on my mother. But again she hid it well from her children to the best of her ability. As I got older she would always say. Never hate your dad he is to be pitied bc of the way he was raised. I thought it strange bc I could never hate my dad! But I was never had the love for him I had for my mom. And then no other words were spoken of him. Mom at my very early age would always talk about the Lord to us and what He was doing in her and our lives and if it were not for him where would we be. She taught me to say my prayers “now I lay me down to sleep and Bless all the family, friends and all my animals and everything I could think of to be blessed. Somewhat like the show the Waltons at times. . They were always amazing miracles of his provisions for us. How we could have never not have done anything without him. So like Wanda I was always amazed at this man called Jesus. I always loved to play dress up and wear my sisters old formals an high heels to big for me from the school dances my sisters attended and hats and Fox fur stoles around my neck. ( That I still have today. Just like on tv now. And I always played house with Jesus as my guest for dinner. We were struggling and poor as church mice and never new it till I had children of my own. Sometimes I would open up real cans of veg. and put them on the table to serve the Lord without cooking them. Bc I was not allowed to touch the stove and my siblings were all gone and on their own. So mom would end up cooking them for dinner that night. Never was I scolded for doing that. So I had strict rules that I had to stay at home and not go out of the yard and go no where. My mom was an amazing woman and could make something beautiful from other people’s throw always and buy clothes out of boxes from the thrift store and look like a million dollars! Everyone would Bragg about how she looked and where did she get her outfits but she never told them. She would just smile and change the subject. My mom had a spotless home and I would come home and smell how clean and look around at how I always loved my home. She made it so warm and loving and yet moderate. She took well care of everything she ever owned as well as my dad. Our clothes were washed on a wash board and clothes were always starched and pressed. My siblings even my brother carried this out through his lifetime. Very strict about our belongings bc they had to last us a lifetime. Except our growing out of our cloths. We used our home but did not abuse our things. Dad was very strict about the car. No finger prints on the glad car or home. Everything had a handle and to use it. Trained us well. Very important rules were set from a very young age. So as I bc I was alone I had learned to entertain myself. And it was always centered around Jesus! When I was eleven I started going to a little Baptist church a few blocks from my house. I was Invited by some neighbors across the street. By the time I went I learned the old church hymns that stuck with me my whole life. The songs my mom and siblings introduced to me first. Boy could my mom sing an my siblings Harmony was amazing! That’s what my family did most of the time we were together. Especially great times doing dishes together. My mom had 16 sibling and most of them sang and played all sorts of instruments. Starting with grandma on the piano.
   By the time I was 12 I had excepted Jesus Christ as my own personal Savior! But in the Times bf that I found my self even with a loving mom and siblings to come and check on me as much as possible. My life became empty alone and felt abandoned from all the love. Laughter together and the attention I was used to having. When I watch the movie Meet me in St. Louis with Judy Garland. I can so relate to my childhood with me being tootie!
   As I got a little older not as big as Tootie yet. I would be taken to the movie house and bought popcorn a candy bar and pop and be put down in the front row of the theater. Dressed to impress. I was always dressed in frills and patented leather shoes. I would fall asleep and when I woke up. All the people would be gone. The people that worked there would wake me up by cleaning. Lights on were bright as could be and the man that ran the place. I remembered it for years but now at 66 his name has escaped me. Would call a taxi and put me in it and send me home. He would say tell the man your address so he can take you home. I was not even in school yet at the time. But back then in the little town of Excelsior Springs MO you never locked your doors. And the taxi would pull in front of my house I would get out shut the car door and run down the sidewalk into my house and jump in bed with my clothes on pull the covers over my head and wait till the kids got home. (You could not go that today!) They how ever often it would be would always beat mom and dad home. And then they would say to me. Don’t you tell a word of this to mom and dad or we will personally spank your Bottom. But they used the other B word instead. And as soon as mom and dad came home my mouth ran so fast that know one could make any since of what I was telling them and they would just say it’s very late and we need to go to sleep. So know one ever heard about those stories again till I had children of my own!. I shared those you know times parents never found out about till you were married kind of things. Then it was a shock of surprise when the stories were told in front of mom that well I have no idea who came up with those ideas it had to be Cheryl and Cheryl would say not me it was you Carol bc then it was burst into laughter bc I couldn’t have done that. Lol! I loved all of it! I could write my name, New the alphabets, new my address, Spoke Spanish and French bf I ever went to school. So many memorable and great times I shall never forget. So back at 12 and heading into my teens that’s when the challenges of life and Christianity became a journey on its own. I graduated high school and bc I was the only one in my family who ever did you would have thought I had graduated with a PHD! But the Lord He was always in me and always took care me long bf I it really sank in. I knew I was on my way to heaven and I could never loose my salvation. So I was good to go! That was implanted in my brain that He was with me wherever i would go and seen and heard everything I did! He was definitely my real hero. He kept good care of me and I knew He was truly real bc of all the protection he brought to me. It was undeniable and I will write a book about my life in more detail. It will be a novel for sure. Things really started playing out when I met my first love my husband of 47 yrs. We celebrated our 45 the Wedding Annv. In June of 2020! Like Paul Harvey says stay tuned for the rest of the story. Bc that’s when my interesting story of my journey really begins! Good Day!

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   1. Ms. Pammy Sue, all I can say is WOW-WOW-WOW. Your testimony is so beautiful to me it brought tears to my eyes. It definitely helps explain why you are so GENUINELY SWEET & KIND!! Thank you for sharing it with the world!

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   2. Wow Pammy Sue! I loved you from the moment I first met you but after reading your testimony here I love you even more! As I’m ready through what you’ve written I can just see the smile across your face from age 6 months to the present date 😊. You are a Happy Person! And that is because of the love of JESUS who lives inside you ❤️ Thank you for sharing😘

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3. Thank you so much for sharing your testimony with me. This just proves that from the beginning God had a plan for you. You are a true example of the fruit of the spirit.
   I love you Ms. Pam.

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